New Skool Kings, Old School Losers

Guttermouth - intriguing band, one would suppose. They were fired - or quit, depending on who you ask - for confusing the pre-teen mall-rats on the 2004 Warped Tour with pro-Bush propaganda, while making bands like Yellowcard and My Chemical Romance cry. Ok by us. So we invited them back to our air-conditioned downtown loft to kick it YP style before the gig. But they preferred to squat in the windowless concrete and cinder-block bunker passing itself off as a 'green room' inside the club instead, basking in the Hitler's-last-days ambience. How unfortunate. For them. No skin off our perfectly exfoliated nose though. Pass the scotch, please.

Joining Guttermouth on this tour was some band from the 'O.C.' called 'New Skool Kings', or 'NSK' for short, who apparently don't spell so good, hence the abundant use of abbreviations. Their myspace blog is pretty awesome too - they say 'sick' and 'bad-ass' a lot. But best part of NSK was the customized, all-white, tricked-out tour bus parked in front of the shithole of a venue. Hilarious. And the best part of THAT was watching them burn through more money in fuel costs just idling in front of the club, than the band took in all night at the door. Now that's a business plan we can get behind. Maybe they'll let them wash their old tour bus to work off their road debt when they get back to Cali. That would be awesome. For them.

But gigs like this are really all about serving the community. And by that, we mean knocking a few more hours off our court-ordered community service. Ah, the things we do for drugs. While the majority of the audience stood back in awe and amazement as we performed note-perfect renditions of all our hits blindfolded, with both hands tied behind our back, the few real punks in the audience skanked it up in front of the stage. Once again, the cream rises to the top. Just like us.

You're welcome, Austin.