While the pledges put in their sweat equity, we reminisced about Deuce and Trev's triumphant visit to the 101X morning show earlier that day. It appears our FCC lobby connections finally paid off, as Deuce waxed poetic to a FM drive-time audience about being 'mobbed by gash' and his patented techniques for avoiding STD's. Classy.We also discovered that the 101X Sorority Intern didn't know the meaning of the word 'agnostic' - more proof that American public schools are GETTING THE JOB DONE.
Never were we prouder to be U.S. Americans, therefore, such as.
Unfortunately, security concerns kept us from putting on - or pulling off, as the case may be - the listener bikini contest. Apparently station management got wind of the whole deal, and realizing that Austin is the capital of hairy armpits and unshaved snizz, decided they were facing a potential biological hazard that no amount of bleach, lysol or oxy-clean could contain. Wisely, they called off our impromptu g-string jihad, leaving throngs of thong-wearing skanks to mill about the parking lot, looking for delivery drivers to blow for gas money. You can thank us later, UPS man.
But for us, there's always an upside - we got to keep the prize intended for the winner of the bikini contest: a chaffeured ride on an air-conditioned party bus for us and a dozen of our friends. Us - 1, You - 0. Booyah.
After retiring back to Mike D's palatial estate for cocktails, we got spruced up and waited on the bus. Upon arrival, we quickly realize that the inside of said party bus looks like someone took the contents of a Spencer's Gifts circa 1977, dumped it into a blender, set it to liquify, and then used the whole nauseating concoction to spray-paint the interior of an old Bluebird school bus. Appalling.
We quickly broke into the 1.75 L bottle of Maker's we brought along for the ride, as we were subjected to wretched karaoke versions of Top 40 hits via the bus' built-in sound system. Apparently, Shakira's 'hips' don't 'lie', which we had to be reminded of repeatedly, as no one could figure out how to delete that Brazilian bitch out of the rotation. Finally, someone set this god-forsaken time-machine to 1985, and the Trev serenaded us with his version Robert Palmer's 'Addicted to Love'.
Eventually we arrived at the club, just in time to catch the last few songs of Candi and the Cavities - and we were immediately disappointed we didn't get to see more of them. Comprised of Slum City alums, Candi and Suzanne - along with Toby Motard on bass and Aaron from the Chumps on drums - these disco-punks worked their Kraftwerk-meets-Gang of Four magic, as seen in a number of live videos on youtube. Neat stuff.
Next up were The New Drugs - an all-star Huey Lewis cover band, made up of members of Oh, Beast!, Awesome Cool Dudes, and fronted by ex-Cheezus/Noodle/Peenbeets/Summer Breeze/Ron Titter Band vocalist, Greg Beets, as seen here.
How can one describe a band that tenderizes the 80's power-rock of one of the greatest bands of all time with a Casio-powered meat-mallet? Simply awesome. If you don't like this band, then you don't like music. Highlights included renditions of such hits as 'Heart and Soul', 'I Want a New Drug', 'Hip To Be Square', 'Power of Love', and of course 'The Heart of Rock and Roll'. Phenomenal.
Finally, we took the stage, and regalled the crowd with a stellar set of yacht punk, as always. If you don't know what we sound like, then check out our myspace page. It's pretty self-explanatory. Or check out Nash Cook's photos documenting our performance. If we sounded half as good as we looked, then we must've been freakin' awesome.
Also, we have to give mad props to Prince Klassen, who kept the dance-floor bumping' all night long with a great mix of yacht-rock classics and SMOOTH music. He truly was 'Klassen' up the joint. Out.
